Sara's Obsession
by enthusedsilver
Summary: Sara has an obsession that she can't quite get over...Tegan and Sara-Quincest, don't like don't read. Rated for later chapters, please R & R.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

She showed up at my door, unexpectedly, looking tense.

"Can I come in?" I moved sideways to let her enter.

"Of course sexy, are you alright? You don't usually ask for my permission." As I closed the door I went to kiss her, as was our usual custom, but she moved out of my way. "No wait, I need to say something, come let's sit." She grabbed my hand and led me to the sofa, as I sat I questioned her, "What's going on tee-tee? You're starting to scare me." She didn't sit, she just began pacing back and forward in front of me. I just wanted to pull her into my lap and kiss away all the tension that was readable across her whole body.

"I've been thinking and we need to stop this," she started, avoiding making eye contact with me, "I can't believe you broke up with Emy for me and I hate to think what pain this would cause Lindsay if she found out. This was supposed to be fun, not a serious thing and its becoming so messy…" She trailed off, finally stopping her pacing and looking at me to see my reaction. I looked into her eyes as my heart shattered into a thousand pieces. "You love her." I could tell by the way her whole face lit up when she said her name, the way I wished it would when she said mine. "I'm sorry Sara." There was nothing else that could be said, she pulled me into a quick hug, said sorry one more time and left, leaving me to wonder how the hell my life had gotten to this point.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I realise the first chapter was quite short so I hope this longer one makes up for it. This also includes a bit of action so yeh just a warning this has a mature rating for a reason, if you don't like I suggest you stop reading now! Feedback muchly appreciated, enjoy!

Chapter 2

I couldn't even tell you when this all started, no wait that's a lie, I remember now. Well it didn't really start here but this was the first _transgression_ should we say. It was a few years ago when we were touring So Jealous, I was with Emy and Tegan was with Jenn. Both of us were getting fed up of sleeping alone in our bunks on the bus and Tegan had suggested we sleep together one night, perfectly innocently. Normally I would have said no because it was a bit weird but I was missing Emy like crazy, this was when I was still madly in love with her, and Tegan was really down because she felt like her and Jenn were falling apart and she had no way to fix it from so far away.

It felt strange as we squished ourselves into the tiny bunks which were barely big enough for one but it was kind of exciting to be in a bed with another warm body pressed into mine again. Neither of us had had sex in a while and with our legs practically intertwined I remember Tegan's considerably fuller bosom brushing against my back and her nipples hardening. It was hot, sweaty, we were entangled and horny. I scolded Tegan for letting her nipples get hard, "Give me a break hard ass," She replied and playfully slapped my bum. I gasped at the most physical contact I had felt in months and suddenly felt the urge to touch Tegan back.

I rolled my body around to face Tegan "accidentally" letting my hand slip onto her stomach as I turned. I looked her in the eye, we were both flushed and sweating, our breathing laboured, as we did what had been asked of us by every interviewer since our music career began and read each other's minds. Our lips smashed together as if drawn by magnets and our tongues explored the intricacies of a mouth so similar and yet so different. Our hands touched and retouched different parts of the bodies we knew but didn't know, finding our similarities and differences, becoming intimate with the familiar and yet the unknown.

We broke apart, gasping for air and my hands quickly pulled Tegan's t-shirt up and over her head, thanking God she didn't wear underwear to bed. My left hand traced the shape of her breasts as I pushed her back on to the bunk and moved to straddle her hips and bend down to suck on her hard nipples. Tegan's moans were sending shivers down my spine and as I bit down on her left nipple she bucked her hips sending a jolt of pleasure from my clitoris through my whole body, which urged me to forge ahead. I kissed down her body as my hands worked to slide her pyjama bottoms down her legs and off to leave my target exposed.

I let myself lazily kiss around Tegan's thighs and pubic hair until she grasped my hair and pulled my head up to stare directly into my eyes and say, "Fuck me now." I could tell she meant it and I dipped my head back down to suck on her beautiful clit and slide two fingers inside her pussy as she began to rock back and forth letting out gasps and screeches of pleasure every so often. My fingers swirled around inside her as my tongue drew circles on her clit. Tegan's whole body began to shake as I added one more finger into her pussy and took her whole clit into my mouth.

Gasping and moaning, rocking back and forward, Tegan's muscles clenched around my fingers and she came, releasing all the pent-up tension that she had been holding onto for too long. My fingers still inside her, I lifted my head up and saw Tegan's eyes were firmly closed, her face was flushed, and she was covered in sweat. I was ready to receive the same treatment and knew it wouldn't take long, I was horny as hell at this point.

Saying nothing, Tegan obliged and sliding my pants off my legs she began slowly tracing circle on my clit. She lowered her fingers to enter me and let her mouth take the place her fingers had previously occupied. She had a strong tongue and it worked its magic as I felt that familiar feeling spreading throughout my body. As Tegan lifted her free hand to gently pinch my nipples, she sped up the pace of her tongue and I reached the edge. My orgasm was short but sweet and thoroughly enjoyable.

When we were done, we put our pyjamas back on, turned over and instantly fell asleep, tired after our exertions. Although that first time had been an enjoyable experience, there was no spark, it was out of necessity and I knew that both of us felt like it was a one time only thing that meant nothing. It wasn't until a while later that that all changed.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, keep them coming! We move from Sara's present day musings in the first paragraph to her memories in the rest of the paragraphs, hope it's not too confusing! This chapter's a bit of a sad one, please R & R.

Chapter 3

As I wandered through the streets of New York, tears streaming down my face and every single person scurrying past me without a second look, I cursed Jenn. Bloody Jenn, it was all her fault. After that first time, everything had returned to normal, neither of us had mentioned it again and when Emy came a few weeks later we were doing great. Tegan and Jenn, on the other hand, were most definitely not. If I could rewind and go back to that moment where it all really began for me I don't think I could do anything other than what I did.

I waved goodbye to Emy one more time and got on to the bus. She was going back home for a job but I was feeling great after her short but sweet visit. I wandered over to the bunk area after finding the kitchen deserted and was struck by the awful sight in front of my eyes. Tegan was curled up in the foetal position on the floor, rocking back and forward as tears streamed down her face and a pitiful whimpering sound escaped her lips. My heart broke in two just looking at my older sister in such distress. The first time Jenn had broken up with Tegan she had been an utter mess and when they got together again I dreaded them breaking apart for a second time because I knew Tegan was bound to crumble.

I walked over and crouched down beside her, stroking the hair out of her face and then pulling her into my embrace without saying a word. Tegan tried to talk but her crying impeded any comprehension as a jumble of "Jenn…bitch…broke…gave…can't…live…without…don't-know-what-to-do…" I just stroked the back of head and tried to soothe away all her pain. "No need to explain tee-tee, I'm here for you." It wasn't a romantic statement, it was sisterly, just stating the fact like any good sibling would but suddenly Tegan pulled her head away and looked at me. Her dark pools, flooded with tears, were reflections of my own but filled with confusion and something else, I searched her face for comprehension but as my eyes glided down to her tear-stained cheeks and red nose I involuntarily lifted my hand up to wipe away the newly formed tears. She jokes a lot on stage about her being adorable when she cries and at that moment staring into those sad, lonely eyes my heart flipped and I really believed it, so instead of moving my hand away I leaned over and placed a kiss on her soft lips.

Drawing back I felt strange but not wrong. It shocked me somewhat when Tegan got up and walked away without a word or backward glance and I spent the next few weeks trying to figure out what all that meant. It was difficult to still act normal around Tegan, Emy and the rest of the band but I think everyone was too worried by Tegan's behaviour to even remotely notice mine. She was acting crazy, going out drinking and dancing every night until the early hours and was completely wrecked all the time. For the first time in our lives I really didn't know what was going on in her mind and she had barely said two words to me since the kiss which was eating me up inside.

Thank God Emy wasn't around because I don't think I could have stomached having to deal with her while my feelings were so confused and fucked up. I was still in love with Emy but I felt torn. Every time I thought about Tegan my heart flipped in my chest and when she walked in a room or I said her name I involuntarily smiled. It didn't mean anything though, it couldn't, it was just because she was my big sister and she was in such pain. I loved Emy more than life itself and that was all there was to it, I had to stop thinking about this.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Ok I'm going to post chapter 4 and 5 because 4 is kind of a filler to get to chapter 5 which is based on the Tegan and Sara Sainthood b-side Sheets, which is an amazing song that you should check out if you haven't already! Oh and we're back in present day, just after events of chapter 1. Thanks for the reviews, please keep them coming and enjoy!

Chapter 4

"I know that you probably don't want to talk to me after the other day but me and Lindsey are going on holiday and I really need someone to water my plants while we're gone and I know you're staying in Vancouver til we start band rehearsals again and I'd ask mum to do it but she's away too and I couldn't think of anyone else…" Tegan was babbling, as she always did when nervous, and I found it cute even though the sound of her voice felt like knives stabbing through my chest. I didn't want Tegan to know I was breaking in half though so I just agreed in as neutral a voice as I could muster. Tegan sounded relieved, "Thanks babe-y sis…er…bye!" She hung up fast after her embarrassing stumble, calling me babe and having to cover it up with baby sis, something she had never called me before and probably never would again. I just chucked the phone across the room and began to sob letting the tears drip down my face as I slid onto the floor.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I had the key to Tegan's apartment. She was going to be gone for 5 days. I could do whatever I wanted in Tegan's apartment for 5 days. Oh God, why did I agree to this? I promised myself that I wouldn't stay in her apartment too long and do all the things I wanted to do. As I got on the bus that first day, to go and water her plants, I wrote a song to remind myself not to be bad.

"_I promise I won't linger long"_

The lock on the door clicked open and I walk in breathing in Tegan's familiar scent mixed with some else. _Lindsey_. I headed straight for their bedroom which such I short time ago I had thought would be ours.

"_I promise I won't push my face up against your clothes"_

Opening the wardrobe doors I looked at all of Tegan's clothes that were left and began pulling them out and throwing them onto Tegan's bed.

"_Or your stupid sheets."_

Once all the clothes were on the bed I lay down amongst them and rolled around breathing in the beautiful scent of this perfect woman. Rolling on top of the stupid sheets that you had insisted on buying when we went shopping, even though I had told you they would look stupid. Right now I resented them more than anything because they represented every time Tegan had deliberately ignored what I said and done the exact opposite. It was probably just a twin thing but what really upset me was that it used to be me who listened to what Tegan said and did the opposite, until she broke me.

"_It's a heart attack that you feel" _

I'd never had such a physical reaction to loosing someone before, the way I imagine a heart attack feels, your whole body literally rejecting such a vital organ and slowly convulsing as though it will get rid of the traitor, before it kills you.

"_I watch your things like I watch your face"_

As my convulsions and sobs momentarily subside I turn to the bedside table to check the time and my eyes fall on a picture of Tegan positioned there. I grab it and stare deep into her possessing eyes then throw it down onto the bed and head to the kitchen to fill the watering can. I begin to carefully water every plant in every room of the house because looking after Tegan's things is the closest thing I have left to looking after Tegan herself. I look at every plant and see Tegan's possessing eyes starring back. Every thing I bought for her or with her or every story that was recounted to me about the purchase of every item. Starring at her picture, studying her face, I know her face, I know every single thing in this apartment and I will care for them as if Tegan is really watching me at this moment rather than the ghost of a long gone Tegan captured still and without the life, the Tegan that used to be mine.

"_It's a crying shame not to spend the night."_

I can't leave, I can't bear to tear myself away from this giant shrine to Tegan, not when I feel so alone and so far away from the woman for whom I can only feel an intense amount of love. I look in the fridge which is practically empty but I don't need to eat, I just memorise the position of everything in there. I open all the cupboards and do the same, it makes me feel closer to her. I spend a large portion of the rest of the night doing this in every room of the apartment, finally settling on her bed about 2am and having a fitful sleep filled with weird dreams where Tegan is a monster that I have to kill but I can't – wonder what Dr Freud would have to say about that.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've been on holiday, but I'm back now and ready to post 2 new chapters so I hope that makes up for my neglect! Once again thanks to everyone who reviewed, please keep the reviews coming and I promise I will post more frequently! This chapter is rather M-rated, enjoy!

Chapter 6

About 2 weeks after the kiss, Tegan came onto the bus completely drunk at about 3am. I was in my bunk, not asleep but pretending because I couldn't fall asleep until I knew Tegan was safe and lying in the bunk across from mine. I heard her stumble in and suddenly the door to my bunk was being pulled open. "Tegan!" I exclaimed, "What are you doing?" Before I can say or do anything else Tegan's hot, alcohol-tinged breath is all over me and her lips are smothering mine. She closes the door and straddles me without a word.

"Tegan, this is ridiculous, you can't…" But her lips are on mine again and I'm powerless to resist, I know it's wrong, I know she's just super drunk and this means nothing but I just need her so badly and I can dwell on all these thoughts some other time, right now I'd rather focus on the fact that Tegan has just ripped her shirt off and is unhooking her bra. I caress the beautiful breasts in front of me and Tegan moans as her nipples harden. She stuffs her tongue down my throat and I am so overwhelmed by her exploration of my mouth that I barely notice the alcohol taste. She pulls apart, gasping and yanks my top over my head, pressing our breasts together and now it's my turn for my nipples to harden.

Suddenly I feel a hand reaching down past the elastic of my waist band and two fingers drawing circles on my clitoris, getting steadily faster as my breathing deepens, my face begins to flush and I start moaning at the pleasure coursing through my body. Through this pleasure haze I reached up to unzip Tegan's jeans and start to mirror Tegan's actions as my fingers slowly rub her clit and I thank God she isn't wearing underwear and her jeans aren't too tight for me to manoeuvre my fingers to the right position. I get what I want though as Tegan begins to gasp and whimper turning me on more and bringing me that much closer to orgasm. My other hand reaches up to massage her breast and the sight of this beautiful woman leaning her head back, eyes closed, face flushed, sweat running down between her breasts makes me reach the edge and as Tegan's hand suddenly presses down hard on my clit I yell out "Tegan!" at almost the exact same moment as she yells "Sara!"

She collapses on top of me and with our breathing returning to normal we both drift off to sleep feeling satisfied.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I wake up in Tegan's apartment, tangled up in her clothes, her scent filling my nostrils. I turn onto my side hoping to see her figure lying there, a sleeping beauty that belongs to me. But she's not and she doesn't. She is far away with the woman she loves more than me and I can't do anything about it. I'm in her kitchen, making coffee, using her mug. Tegan doesn't drink coffee but she sometimes used to bring me a cup in the morning and then she'd kiss my nose, "Here's your wake up call gorgeous," She'd say as she kissed all of my face then down my neck to my collarbone then breasts then down across my stomach and then further down until I was coming into her mouth then pinning her down on the bed and giving her the same treatment.

My clitoris ached at the thought as I drank coffee that would usually be drunk as Tegan showered and dressed unless I felt extra naughty and jumped in while Tegan was mid-shower to give her shower a happy ending for both of us. Or just allow my hands to explore her body as they massaged shower gel across her slippery skin and then use the shower head to pump water across her clit or use my tongue to lick it clean myself. My head shook me out of my reverie as my body was overcome with sobs once more and the coffee mug slipped from my hands to the floor, shattering spectacularly. I left the mess and slumped to the floor, how was I supposed to get over you?


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I just wanted to say that I'm loving the reviews so much, this is the first story I've written that hasn't been a smutty one-shot so I'm very proud of being able to do it and all your feedback just really helps me to continue. I hope you guys are keeping up with the switching between present day and Sara's recollections, these next two chapters are back to just after the events of chapter 6, hope you enjoy, all feedback muchly appreciated.

Chapter 8

The morning after Tegan's drunken sex with me I tried to talk to her but I didn't really know what to say and Tegan was less than receptive. At breakfast with the rest of the band I felt awkward and sat silently nursing a cup of coffee while Tegan seemed angry and detached, shovelling cereal into her mouth. "I heard some interesting sounds coming from your end of the bus last night Tee, did you get lucky?" Johnny's question woke Tegan up from her angry daze and being the ever-ready actor she smirked and simply said "maybe" which seemed to satisfy Johnny's nosy wonderings. The fact that anybody might have heard us last night had me momentarily frozen but Tegan's brilliant and very convincing answer impressed me. Tegan glanced over at me and I smiled at the thought of last night. Ted gave me an odd look but I knew he wouldn't say anything, it wasn't Ted's style. It just made me realise how careful we were going to have to be about this all because it was one thing for Ted to have suspicions but if Emy found out then I don't know how I would cope. I made sure to return my face to normal for the rest of breakfast, a position it would get used to adopting over the next few months.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Tegan slowly returned to normal, she was no longer the crazy, drunken mess that had been a usual sight over the past few months but we got the regular Tegan we knew and loved back and I kind of dreaded what would happen next. Fortunately it just meant she was finally ready to talk to me about what the hell our sexcapades over the past few months had been about and what they meant for us in the future. She sent the boys out for important supplies that she knew would take time to acquire and sat me down in the kitchen area. She was nervous and at the time I found it strange, why would this make her nervous? Now I know it's because she was embarrassed by our actions yet she wanted to continue with them.

She started to explain, "I know that you're with Emy but I'm lonely and having meaningless sex with someone who knows me so well seems a lot more harmless than having sex with random strangers, we don't have to if you don't want to but I just thought it could be a fun thing to do whilst we were on the road and had no other release to our tension." The "only on the road" part didn't last very long but then neither did the "harmless" part, for me anyway.

Tegan avoided eye contact with me and played with her hands as she recounted her little speech. "If that's what you want." What else could I say? "Really? Great, that's settled then. Alright I think I better go help the boys I sent them on a bit of a wild goose chase." As she got up to go I grabbed her hand, "Wait, when does this happen?" Tegan wriggled out of my grasp, uncomfortable at my touch even though she'd just agreed to have me regularly touch her, it was different in her mind. "Whenever we want." With that she turned and bolted out the door. "Whenever you want, you mean."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I'm not an obsessive person, most of the time. Once I'm in a relationship I usually take it for granted, I don't feel the need to call someone 50 times a day to check in, I'm not particularly romantic, I try to make gestures to show my love but really I'm quite distant and let them do all the chasing, I like it better that way. I like to be in control. That's why Tegan threw me so completely off balance and ruined my perfect system. She took control, made everything on her time and what she wanted, I had no say and that difference was exciting and just made me fall harder.

She threw me off guard, I didn't know which nights I'd receive a _visit _or how she'd treat me, what way she'd react the next day. At first I hated it, but I couldn't change it, I'd agreed to it for God's sake. It became exciting, thrilling, it was a game. When I saw Emy everything was the same, it was safe, we did the same things, spoke in the same way and knew what was going to happen. Nothing was ever like that with Tegan and I soon became addicted to the danger of it all. The fact that everything could instantly fall apart if anyone found out was an unbelievable turn-on and I couldn't get enough of the way Tegan would push the boundaries. She would grab my bum when the band wasn't looking or kiss me hard when Emy turned her head. It was irresistible and Tegan had me under her spell from that moment on. I had fallen hard.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 

As I flip through her photo albums I suddenly stumble across a photo of Emy. God I am such an idiot. We had a house together, we were basically married and all the time we were making these life-altering decisions I was sleeping with Tegan, I was praying that the love I'd felt for Emy would come back and my growing love for Tegan would subside. She must think I'm a psycho. I didn't exactly handle it well, although she doesn't know about me and Tegan which I can only take to be some small miracle.

I remember one night Emy had been working for a band in New York for a few days so I decided it was time to invite Tegan, who was single at the time, over to my place for dinner and some fun.

Remember how I said I wasn't romantic? Well this is probably the only remotely romantic thing I ever attempted to do and to this day I regret even thinking about doing it, but as I said I was so completely smitten at the time I didn't even envisage anything going wrong.

I made the fanciest meal I possibly could and I included all of Tegan's favourite foods. I scattered the bedroom with tonnes of rose petals and filled the house with candles. I left the door open and made a sign saying "this way" with candles and arrows paving a path from the front door into the dining room where I sat naked holding two glasses of very expensive champagne and feeling very excited. It was cheesy but I didn't do romance so to me this was incredible.

I waited patiently for the woman I loved and as I heard footsteps in the corridor I was overwhelmed with excitement until the woman I was pretending to love walked in. "Sara, did you do all this for me?" Emy stood frozen to the spot looking completely shocked. The most romantic thing I'd ever done and it wasn't for her, but she didn't know that. "How did you know I'd arranged my flight to come home early because I missed you so much? Did one of the guys from the band call you and tell you I was coming? It was supposed to be a surprise!" She babbled happily and came over to kiss me as I sat completely speechless, unable to reconcile these two worlds colliding so ferociously for the first time. Of course the best was yet to come…

"Oooohhh babes, nudity and champagne, I must be the luckiest woman in the world." She took one of the glasses and straddled my lap. Just at that moment I heard the voice I'd really been waiting for. "Sorry honey, I got held up, I hope you haven't been waiting…Emy?" Tegan stopped in the doorway her mouth wide open. "Tegan? What are you…? Sara I…?" Emy looked back and forth between me and Tegan and I felt sure at that moment that she knew what was going on and a part of me was happy that all the lying could end but of course I didn't want to hurt Emy in that way, how could I explain this?

Of course, my knight in shining armour stepped in to rescue me with the perfect explanation. "Oops, sorry guys," Tegan began, using her hand to shield me, creating a totally convincing environment for the next sentence. "I really am late, aren't I? I was supposed to come and help Sara set up the surprise for you Emy but I got distracted and lost track of time. Anyway, you don't need me now so I'll just leave you to it." She turned around to leave but Emy was faster, "Did you call Sara "honey" Tegan?" I snorted at the thought of Tegan explaining that away too but it only added to her lie. "Ha! Can you imagine?" Tegan exclaimed, convincingly laughing at such a "preposterous" thought. "I said "funny", its short for funny-looking, one of my favourite pet names for Sara. Honey! Honestly!" She left quicker this time chuckling as she went.

When Emy turned around to face me I had regained motor functions so I smiled at her and said "Hey, I organised a romantic evening in for two with my girlfriend so can we just enjoy it and forget about my idiotic sister?" Fortunately I'm a good liar and Emy was convinced. Then again, maybe that should be unfortunately. I wonder what would have happened if Tegan had shown up on time, if I'd broken things off with Emy sooner and devoted myself to Tegan before she fell for Lindsey, maybe then I would have had her to myself. Then again, maybe not.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Here are my last chapters and an epilogue, thanks so much to everyone who reviewed and favourited my stories it really has made me so happy and although I feel this story has reached its natural conclusion I'm sure I will be back with more Tegan and Sara fanfiction goodness soon! Oh and in regards to Chapter 13, a friend mentioned to me that they thought Emy's reaction was a bit weird so I would love to hear your thoughts, in my mind she gets off the phone and cries for ages but doesn't want to show her weakness to Sara, thoughts?

Chapter 12

I awoke with a start, lying in Tegan's bed surrounded by her clothes again, but this time I could hear voices coming from the entrance hall. I crept to the door and opened it to hear more clearly. My heart soared, it was my tee-tee and then I heard another voice which made my heart sink right down to the floor…Lindsey. What day was it? I had no idea. I'd been wallowing around the apartment, unable to drag myself away, I didn't even remember what day they were supposed to get back. Today apparently. What the hell was I going to do? I reached into my pocket and did the only thing that felt natural at that moment, I called Emy.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 

In the old days, let's call them before TL (Tegan loving), the one person who I always knew I could call when I had a problem, was Emy. She was the most decent person I knew, she was still in love with me even though I had treated her like shit and she would not only calm my nerves but tell me how the hell to get out of this situation without judging me too much.

First thing was first though, I had to tell her the truth. "Sara? This isn't really a good time…"

"Look Emy, I'm in a bit of a situation and you are the only person I know who can help me but first I have to tell you something that may not be very easy to hear but its important you know…" I'd lowered my voice to just above a whisper and gently closed the door as I moved toward the wardrobe, praying Tegan and Lindsey would give me some time before they headed to their (eurgh!) bedroom.

"I left you because I'm in love with Tegan, we've been sleeping together for over a year now but she broke it off to be with Lindsey. She gave me her keys to water her plants while she went on holiday with Lindsey but I've just wallowed around here pining over Tegan and they just got back and I'm in their bedroom and I have no idea what to do." This rambled speech came out in a rush and the other end remained silent for a minute. "Oh and all Tegan's clothes are strewn across her bed, Tegan knows I love her but Lindsey doesn't know anything and if Tegan catches me in here she's not going to talk to me ever again." There was so much more I could have added to the story but there wasn't time, thankfully Emy was amazing, as always.

"God Sara you really do know how to make a mess! I so knew you loved Tegan, I knew I wasn't going crazy, you have been acting so weird around here and that night where you were all romantic was just totally weird. I knew something wasn't right!" I guess it was wishful thinking that I'd covered that up then. "Emy, sorry, I know that this is a lot for you to take in but having a bit of a situation here!" I could hear voices getting closer to the door and I was beginning to panic. "Oh yeh, sorry, that's easy, just talk to me like you're deciding what clothes you and Tegan should wear for the photoshoot on Tuesday."

The door knob turned and quickly standing and surveying the jumble of clothes on the bed I said in a loud, confident tone, "Emy I think we may have to go buy something new for the photoshoot because none of these clothes are going to work." I turned to face Tegan as I heard Emy reply, "Perfect Sara." Tegan looked puzzled but not angry as she exclaimed, "Jesus Sara, you scared the hell out of me! Did you not hear us come in? I knew I heard voices in here and why the hell is there a broken coffee cup in the kitchen? I thought someone was trying to burgle the house!"

Emy's guiding voice in my ear was quick to react. "God Sara, a broken coffee cup? It was an accident, you were just about to clean it up when I called." I knew she would be brilliant at this. "Can you hang on a sec Emy?" I put the phone against my chest, but with enough space that Emy could still hear, and then replied to Tegan, using my best acting skills. "Hey T, hi Lindsey," Lindsey nodded in response from her position standing behind my twin. "Sorry about the coffee cup, it was an accident, I was about to clean up the mess when Emy called to talk about the clothes for the photoshoot on Tuesday and I got a bit distracted, sorry."

Tegan looked oddly relieved, "Oh well, that's ok, could you go clean it up then, I don't want it to leave a stain and I wanted to talk to Emy about some ideas I had for Tuesday." I handed Tegan the phone hoping Emy could sense the waves of gratitude I was sending her and then headed out to the kitchen. Unfortunately, Lindsey followed me. As I began sweeping up the shards of china she spoke, "Can I ask you a question Sara? I know it's kind of strange because I don't really know you that well but I don't have anyone else I could ask."

I looked up at the sincere expression on her face and just nodded, somewhat intrigued. "Is your sister always as intense as she was with me when she likes someone?" I was caught off guard somewhat by this question but I knew all I could do was answer truthfully. "No, you have to be really special to receive the kind of treatment that you got, but trust me it's a blessing, not a curse. There are many people who dream that she would want them as much as she wanted you."

I smiled, realising that I had known all along it would come to this and that Tegan was happy so I should be happy for her too. She was my sister and I was lucky to have her in that respect, asking for anything more was just greed. Lindsey looked puzzled, "Fans you mean?" I smirked and returned to sweeping, "Yeh, fans." At that moment, Tegan entered the kitchen, handing me my phone and looping her hand round Lindsey's waist. "Fans, what?" She queried. "Love you more than they love me." Tegan smiled. "Well, who can blame them?" _Definitely not me, _I thought, as Tegan playfully tickled Lindsey.

"Anyway, this is done so I'm going to leave you guys to it. I think I need to go see Emy anyway." Tegan looked surprised and replied, "Oh good, please tell me you guys have stopped all this silly fighting and are going to get back together."

"Maybe," was all I could think to reply, but for once I actually meant it.


	14. Epilogue

Epilogue 

Just because something is intense, doesn't mean it's going to last, in my experience it's usually the opposite actually. And just because something falls apart, doesn't mean it can't be put back together. I don't want you to think either thing is easy but often the hardest things can be the most rewarding.

"Tegan can you quit hogging the popcorn?"

"You could have got your own!"

"I would have if I'd known you were going to be such a pig!" Tegan looked slightly offended at the comment from her girlfriend.  
"You can share our popcorn if you want Lindsey," Emy, ever the peacemaker, tried to smooth over what appeared to be a potential situation but I could tell by the glint in Tegan's eye she wasn't really offended. "Hey, I did not approve this offer!" I interjected, pouting slightly. "Don't think you're going to win me over with that pout Sara Kiersten Quin!"

I laughed, "Wow, middle-naming me, she's serious!" Emy adopted a stern look, "Deadly serious," she said convincingly until she burst out in a fit of giggles. "You're such a silly."

I leaned over and kissed her soft lips, thoroughly content to be with such an amazing woman. If we had tried to go on a double date this time last year it would have been a terribly painful experience, but a lot had changed since then. I had gotten over Tegan with the help of Emy and rediscovered all the reasons I had fallen in love with her in the first place. Tegan and Lindsey were happy, in love and thoroughly enjoying being with each other, I had actually never seen Tegan so happy. It felt so good to finally be in a place where I could be happy for my sister and yet content with my own life too. Sometimes intense was good, but sometimes you just wanted to buy your baby some popcorn and watch a film with her, your sister and your sister's girlfriend because no-one could be intense for long but I could watch movies with 3 of my favourite people on earth any day.


End file.
